nobodys perfect

March 4th, 2010

3:05 am; why is your boyfriend so perfect and mine is so perfectly retarded?
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Rating: 5.2/10 (9 votes cast)
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Rating: +3 (from 17 votes)
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Would you count it?

March 3rd, 2010

I finally got to do her and I went after about 18 seconds. She was disappointed, but I could really care less. I'm just glad it happened.
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Rating: 8.7/10 (13 votes cast)
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Rating: -7 (from 21 votes)
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The Key

March 3rd, 2010

You hold the key to my pony. You have permission to ride it anytime you want. That's the perks of being with someone like me. Enjoy.
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Rating: 9.1/10 (13 votes cast)
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Rating: +13 (from 17 votes)
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accidentally frm my mother

March 3rd, 2010

my nipples need a good twisting
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Rating: 9.9/10 (15 votes cast)
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Rating: +10 (from 24 votes)
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Naked Twister

March 2nd, 2010

Hey Baby do you want to play naked twister tonight? Dad Replies: Oh yes honey the best family game
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Rating: 8.5/10 (12 votes cast)
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Rating: +14 (from 20 votes)
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Turning Me On

March 2nd, 2010

I half two tennis balls in my mouth right now. Are you jealous?
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Rating: 7.4/10 (9 votes cast)
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Rating: +10 (from 16 votes)
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We are Threw

March 2nd, 2010

The dumb biotch tried to dump me and spelled "through" wrong, LOL. Who needs her...
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Rating: 7.1/10 (10 votes cast)
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Rating: +12 (from 18 votes)
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Fried Fish

March 1st, 2010

That drunk MoFo thought it would be funny to catch my new angelfish and fry it in a pan. That was cruel, not to mention that was a seven dollar fish. I should have that idiot arrested.
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Rating: 8.9/10 (14 votes cast)
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Rating: +13 (from 15 votes)
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Dumped

March 1st, 2010

He honestly dumped me because he thought the name Pricella was turrable.
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Rating: 5.5/10 (8 votes cast)
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Rating: -3 (from 9 votes)
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WOW WTF

March 1st, 2010

Me:Have you ever farted so bad that you gaged yourself Him: Yeah y? Me: Just Wondering
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Rating: 6.7/10 (9 votes cast)
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Rating: -8 (from 14 votes)
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