March 9th, 2010
Her: I had to get my physical today. Me: Oh! is your tinker in tip top shape? Her: Lmao! That took me a while to figure out, but yeah, might have to shave it later. Me" I was talking about your heart you tardo, not your pussy, but hey if you shave your heart then more power to you. Her" Wow im laughing so f""king hard and im not telling anyone why
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Rating: 7.6/10 (14 votes cast)
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March 8th, 2010
...."IM TOO DRUNK TO GET PREGNANT" hahaha I love how logical drunk-me is... haha
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Rating: 7.6/10 (10 votes cast)
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Rating: +14 (from 18 votes)
March 5th, 2010
he looked at me after we got done and say whens the next time...
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Rating: 7.3/10 (10 votes cast)
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March 4th, 2010
If your head was any bigger your neck would collapse. You are one arrogant S.O.B.
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Rating: 6.7/10 (9 votes cast)
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Rating: +2 (from 14 votes)
March 4th, 2010
If you're wondering why you didn't get any last night it's because you ordered me the side of cottage cheese while I was in the bathroom. You should no by now I don't like that.
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Rating: -1 (from 13 votes)
March 4th, 2010
3:05 am; why is your boyfriend so perfect and mine is so perfectly retarded?
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Rating: 4.8/10 (11 votes cast)
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Rating: +5 (from 21 votes)
March 3rd, 2010
I finally got to do her and I went after about 18 seconds. She was disappointed, but I could really care less. I'm just glad it happened.
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Rating: 8.4/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: -7 (from 27 votes)
March 3rd, 2010
You hold the key to my pony. You have permission to ride it anytime you want. That's the perks of being with someone like me. Enjoy.
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Rating: 8.7/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: +16 (from 22 votes)
March 3rd, 2010
my nipples need a good twisting
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Rating: 9.4/10 (17 votes cast)
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Rating: +13 (from 29 votes)
March 2nd, 2010
Hey Baby do you want to play naked twister tonight?
Dad Replies: Oh yes honey the best family game
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Rating: 8.1/10 (14 votes cast)
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Rating: +15 (from 23 votes)
