February 2nd, 2010
My parents just told me I need to turn the radio louder than my vibrator. Awkward.
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Rating: 9.7/10 (35 votes cast)
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Rating: +44 (from 50 votes)
February 2nd, 2010
Cant find my cigs,I hid them when I was sober Shit.
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Rating: 8.7/10 (14 votes cast)
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Rating: +3 (from 17 votes)
February 1st, 2010
9 out of 10 chicks agree. I'm the biggest mistake of their life.
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Rating: 8.4/10 (17 votes cast)
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Rating: +18 (from 24 votes)
January 29th, 2010
He told me his sister has the exact same bra. Need an escape plan now!
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Rating: 9.3/10 (19 votes cast)
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Rating: +24 (from 30 votes)
January 29th, 2010
I farted in a jar and had it overnight mailed to you. It should be there today. Paybacks a stinch.
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Rating: 7.4/10 (12 votes cast)
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Rating: +15 (from 19 votes)
January 29th, 2010
The ipad will make my porn collection that much beter. Thanks Apple.
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Rating: 8.0/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: +11 (from 21 votes)
January 27th, 2010
I thought the point of having a girlfriend was so you didn't have to work to get laid.
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Rating: 7.6/10 (18 votes cast)
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Rating: +15 (from 21 votes)
January 26th, 2010
Guy: why does my unit itch? Girl: WTF IDK did you get crabs?!?! Guy: can you still get crabs if she is shaved? Girl: YOU SCREWED STEPHANIE!?!
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Rating: 9.3/10 (26 votes cast)
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Rating: +34 (from 38 votes)
January 21st, 2010
My nephew went through and circled Waldo in all the where's Waldo books. Asshole.
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Rating: 9.8/10 (20 votes cast)
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Rating: +37 (from 41 votes)
January 18th, 2010
why did I just get a two week old roll of sausage and an english muffin from you in the mail? Great job homeland security.
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Rating: 6.7/10 (9 votes cast)
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Rating: +3 (from 11 votes)
