December 29th, 2009
Are there any other 17 year olds that still have to do laundry for their old man who ALWAYS has a big chocolate streak in his tighty whities??? Why Me??
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Rating: 6.5/10 (14 votes cast)
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Rating: +7 (from 21 votes)
December 29th, 2009
I was so drunk I peed in the ice trays. They're gonna be so pissed tomorrow morning.
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Rating: 8.4/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: +9 (from 25 votes)
December 29th, 2009
So there I am sitting there watching the movie and my jackass brother-in-law, who has already seen it, texts me from four rows back and tells me how it ends! Jerk!
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Rating: 5.9/10 (14 votes cast)
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Rating: -7 (from 27 votes)
December 28th, 2009
I can't tell whether it's good or bad that my 100 pounds grandma outdrank me last night.
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Rating: 7.6/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: +15 (from 25 votes)
December 23rd, 2009
Dude, I just hit a deer. It literally blew the deer in half! The head and legs went one way, then there were about 100 feet of intestines and then the back legs and ass were the other way!
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Rating: 7.1/10 (21 votes cast)
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Rating: +3 (from 37 votes)
December 22nd, 2009
always remember as the season of goodwill appoaches some one special is out there thinking of and appreciats you for the imppact u made on there life-... its not me though I think your an asshole!!
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Rating: 9.3/10 (10 votes cast)
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Rating: +11 (from 17 votes)
December 20th, 2009
kyle: i love the little things that make me smile! Ally: you mean like you penis?
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Rating: 9.5/10 (19 votes cast)
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Rating: +22 (from 26 votes)
December 18th, 2009
I just got tossed out my exam room because i dropped my pencil, the invigilator stepped on my hand and I called her a fat whore.
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Rating: 7.6/10 (10 votes cast)
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Rating: +23 (from 29 votes)
December 18th, 2009
I bought her pants a size too small on purpose. Cheaper and more subtle than a gym membership.
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Rating: 8.5/10 (12 votes cast)
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Rating: +18 (from 30 votes)
December 18th, 2009
I got high and stuck my head in the aquarium to see how long I could hold my breath without coming up for air.
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Rating: 6.6/10 (11 votes cast)
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Rating: +11 (from 17 votes)