December 15th, 2009
My secret santa just gave me a box of condoms. I'd take the hint, but she's 4 ft 9 and 250.
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Rating: 9.6/10 (20 votes cast)
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Rating: +28 (from 30 votes)
December 15th, 2009
Just found my other shoe...It was filled with puke behind the nightstand.
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Rating: 8.8/10 (12 votes cast)
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Rating: +7 (from 21 votes)
December 15th, 2009
You should come, they have a midget stripper running around in a baby cowboy hat. Worst part is i'm getting horny
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Rating: 8.8/10 (18 votes cast)
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Rating: +25 (from 31 votes)
December 14th, 2009
Last night you and your dog got high and watched PETA videos. You kept telling him how good he had it.
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Rating: 9.3/10 (12 votes cast)
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Rating: +21 (from 27 votes)
December 14th, 2009
So yeah she told me she loved me last night, I told her back at cha. Haven't talked to her since.
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Rating: 9.1/10 (7 votes cast)
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Rating: +11 (from 21 votes)
December 14th, 2009
U think that unemployment will give me a Christmas bonus?
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Rating: 5.0/10 (7 votes cast)
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Rating: +6 (from 12 votes)
December 13th, 2009
Mom just caught me whacking it! How embarrassing!
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Rating: 7.8/10 (13 votes cast)
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Rating: +11 (from 21 votes)
December 13th, 2009
Do you think my twins could be from two different dads?
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Rating: 7.8/10 (6 votes cast)
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Rating: +12 (from 18 votes)
December 13th, 2009
I swear to you paper beats scissors, at least that's how we used to play it.
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Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast)
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Rating: +9 (from 15 votes)
December 13th, 2009
How was Auschwitz? Well, Dan got an erection. That about sums it up.
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Rating: 9.3/10 (12 votes cast)
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Rating: +11 (from 19 votes)
