O.O

November 28th, 2009

Of Course!!!! It's so obvious now! Leona Lewis is Square Enix's whore!!!
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Rating: 4.3/10 (7 votes cast)
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Rating: -2 (from 12 votes)
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thanksgiving

November 27th, 2009

im thankful for what i have, but i'm REALLY thankful for what i don't have that i don't want. -.-"
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Rating: 9.9/10 (8 votes cast)
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Rating: +20 (from 22 votes)
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Prince Albert

November 27th, 2009

I know what a prince albert is, but what is a king albert?
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Rating: 8.2/10 (11 votes cast)
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Rating: +3 (from 11 votes)
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Bella

November 25th, 2009

I told her she looked like Bella and she blushed, then farted. WTF?
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Rating: 7.3/10 (18 votes cast)
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Rating: +17 (from 25 votes)
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Contacts down the drain

November 25th, 2009

Every freakin time I put my contacts in spoons some dumbass throws the spoons in the sink.
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Rating: 4.5/10 (10 votes cast)
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Rating: -2 (from 22 votes)
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Panty Pirate

November 25th, 2009

The Panty Pirate struck again last night. I have no underwear left and had to go commando all day!
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Rating: 7.1/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: +15 (from 25 votes)
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Bad Booty Call

November 24th, 2009

Did you know when you called me at 4:00 AM my Mom answered and you couldn't even tell it wasn't me??? Drunk Ass!
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Rating: 7.2/10 (17 votes cast)
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Rating: +18 (from 22 votes)
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Team Edward

November 24th, 2009

I told her I was team Edward and she got all pissed. I forgot she was part Cherokee.
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Rating: 4.8/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: -5 (from 27 votes)
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Crooked Attorney

November 24th, 2009

I swear my husband's divorce lawyer is crookeder than a question mark, phonier than a three dollar bill, and about as bright as a shadow and as sharp as a bowling ball.
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Rating: 1.9/10 (16 votes cast)
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Rating: -18 (from 30 votes)
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Swine Flu

November 24th, 2009

I'm either REALLY hungover or I have caught that Swine Flu that's going around.
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Rating: 5.3/10 (14 votes cast)
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Rating: -7 (from 17 votes)
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