So i find this embarrassing but your my best friend so i need to tell someone my bf was eating me out and his eyes were closed and he thought i got wet but it was really blood i got my period =/

So the reason why I wasnt in class today was because the teacher caught me having sex in the school bathroom -_-

so i had an open house and this girl asked where the bathroom was, i said door on right, she goes into the washroom and takes a pee in the washer

Sitting here in class and this mexican girl sitting next to me I swear is checking me out. I mean it is my birthday, but damn she is trying to wrap her self up for me! Love you Bubble Butt!

my mom broke up with her boyfriend and when she did his best insult to her was "you look like grimace!"

I already wanna come home...my little brother is drivin and when he flicked a gnarly booger out the winkow it flew back and slapped on my 4head! Im gonna shit on his seat when we stop for gas.

Don't you love it when you sit down to take a shit and a fart propelled turd flys out of ur ass?

My mom told me that her ex-boyfriend kept all her sex toys when she moved outt. So I told her she was gonna have to do it the old fashion way, then she said I guess soo...AWKWARDD!!!

totally broke in my ex boyfriends house when i was drunk well "walked" in and stole all his condoms... he thinks he used them up... WIN!

i took a shit in a plastic bag when i was smaked and my dad walked in on it