I already wanna come home...my little brother is drivin and when he flicked a gnarly booger out the winkow it flew back and slapped on my 4head! Im gonna shit on his seat when we stop for gas.

Don't you love it when you sit down to take a shit and a fart propelled turd flys out of ur ass?

My mom told me that her ex-boyfriend kept all her sex toys when she moved outt. So I told her she was gonna have to do it the old fashion way, then she said I guess soo...AWKWARDD!!!

totally broke in my ex boyfriends house when i was drunk well "walked" in and stole all his condoms... he thinks he used them up... WIN!

i took a shit in a plastic bag when i was smaked and my dad walked in on it

do you think that casey anthony got pissed that no one said happy mothers day to her?

if you see this msg you have way too much time on your hands. ps. i m so fucking bored now that you left. :)

my mum said to me , you know u can get pregnant by kissing a dog , i said wtf then i tried it now i have no mouth :(

we started kissing and we make out, we were at my house, so my laptop wa son with the messenger, a friend asked me: What are U doing?(she dindt knew i was with my BF) and i answered, Hm...Nothing just Here, watching a movie. He Lol´d.

he accidentally shoved it in my ass