We were talking about how mature my boyfriend was and he texted me 3 days after saying he didnt have a boobie craving, then like right after that i was in class and he sent me a picture of his penis calling it the "tower" and said he would play with little toy cars around it and pretend to crash into it, real mature real mature pure gold...

OMG... buddy.. i cant walk rite anymore. i was playing in that water fountain thing and all the kids were sitting down on the blowholes and letting the water push them up, wel i think i sat on it wrong. it went up my a$$.. no joke. it went up my butthole. like i can still feel water drainin... i feel like i was just raped..

I was at this party last night and there was this guy and we started to talk and the next thing i knew we was in vip on the couch and we passed out and that next day we was still there with no clothes and we did not know what had happen and the next three weeks i found out that i was pregnant. so now we know what happen that night fml what am i going to do =(

Mother: Why do you smell so funny. Me: (high and yelling) Why do YOU smell FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!

Mom: Why do you listen to that shit? Me: I don't it came on the radio. Mom: Oh well he still takes it in the ass. Me: Why would YOU have a problem with that....lol (;

Her: please just give me another chance, Me: No Her: then i give up im gonna kill myself im goig to hell!!! Me: save me a seat =p

him; knocking the monkey unconscience, sounds like violent masturbation. me; what are you talking about? theres no monkeys, its the horse.

I was just walking down the street when one of the vendors asked "who wants to buy nuts" A prostitue yelled "I Do"!

I woke up with cotton mouth. It tasted like some midget had took a dump in my mouth while I was asleep.

Friend: I saw ur ex @ the club and I pushed him down the stairs & told him that he fucked with my boy and it wasn't ok. Me: Really? Friend: And then I stepped on his foot w/ my stiletto & stole his drink & called him a bitch in front of his friends. Me: Really? Friend: No. But I gave him a shit look and and though about it. Me: Good. Because I slept with him this afternoon and we are talking about getting back together. Friend: LMFAO