I found a watermelon seed in my poop this morning. I don't even remember the last time I ate watermelon but it certainly wasn't within the last week. What's up with that?

I love you has 8 letters in it so does bullshit

Why dont burger king sell taco bell? They should all sell each others food so we dont have to go very far. Why are stars so far away? Even Carl's Junior is miles away

This isn't a text, but it is freakin' hilarious. http://bpfixedtheleak.com

Kyon's Top 10 #10: "Clock Tower" Clock tower was an interesting horror game that introduced a concept in horror games of not being able to fight back against your pursuer. add in multiple endings and a suprisingly good narrative, and you have my number ten game of all time. #9: "The Elder Scrolls" The Elder Scrolls is a series made by Bethesda Softworks, also known for the creation of Fallout 3. TES was always very immersive. It's a huge thing to be able to go into an First-Person RPG as big as that that includes TREES. TES had a somewhat weak narrative, but is backed by one of the most open-world games you will ever have the chance to play. With sword-play and sorcery set in a world of pure beauty, TES series in general comes in at number nine. #8: [PROTOTYPE] Prototype is a more recent game, unlike the other entries on this list. Prototype carries on the playing style of "THe Hulk: Ultimate Destruction" and serves as a fast-paced break from reality, which allows you to be an unstoppable monster of a creation. Best summed up by a single scene in the game where the Big Bad's subbordinate sends three tanks after you to slow you down, met only with a reply of "Like It's going to make a difference!". Prototype is only this far down on the list because of it's admittedly sub-par graphics and incredibly stereotypical narrative only saved by an ingenious twist at the end. #7: "Modern Warfare Series" The Modern Warfare series from Infinity Ward was basically Call Of Duty brought up to it's best. MW was interesting in that knowing unlike the rest of the COD series, MW took a direction as more of Spec Ops instead of the front-lines, but still incorperating some seriously tense moments with what can only be called a shooter on an epic scale. MW had a much better narrative than it's World War counterparts, but suffered from controversy in the wake of the second game which featured a level known as "No Russian" which allows you to take part in a massacre of citizens. In the true style of the AP, however, they convieniently left out the part about you being FORCED to do so. Nice Job, AP. #6: "Assassin's Creed Series" The Assassin's creed Series could probably be summed up as Metal Gear Solid with Swordplay, riciculously good narrative, and Anceint Bards and Beggars who you get to punch. (or not) AC1 and 2 are very good with just about everything it does, starting with one of the best narratives in Gaming history, and the fact that it's sequel didn't suck. The combat in AC is VERY fun. You finally get to be the badass you gracefully takes out a room full of guards with a knife and sword. (Guns are so impersonal). A deserving sixth spot on the countdown. #5: "Soul Calibur Series" Soul Calibur is an arcade fighting series. A good alternative to the Tekken series, with each character having an engaging but rather stale background, as yet another layer to an incredibly fun Fighting Game experience which is best played in an arcade for a nostalgic feel. There's not much to say about it, as is to be expected from a fighting game, because it's simply something you just need to play for yourself to really appreciate. #4: "Mass Effect Series" The Mass Effect series is simply incredible. Just about everything BioWare does with the notable exception of "Star Wars: KoTR" is incredibly fun and immersive. As such, their latest trilogy of games are already considered by some to be comparable to the big ones, and for good reason. Mass Effect 1 and 2 have what I consider to be the most interesting characters of any game, with it's narrative being beaten by only one game, which holds the number one spot on this list. Mass Effect does an amazing job of blending solid storytelling and RPG-Shooters. The world itself is held back by only a few flaws, which, in turn, hold it back from being higher on my list. #3: "Pokemon Gold" Pokemon will always have a special place in many gamers' hearts as a fun to play, light-hearted look into the world of usually grim RPGs. The Pokemon series took an unfortunate turn into a cash-cow franchise, and (predictably) sold out in the mosre recent generations. Gen two, with versions "Gold, Silver, and Crystal" was Pokemon at it's prime. With balanced battles, the occasional interesting puzzle, and a narrative not expected in a kid's game, Pokemon Gold brings me memories of a good time in gaming. as well as being the first handheld I ever played. #2: "Jade Empire" Jade Empire is not a series, nor is it very well known, but I personally consider it to be beaten by only one other game in all of gaming. Jade Empire had never really been popular, and as such, it's a relatively obscure game. The world of Jade Empire is rich with history, characters, and even some humour mixed in. Another BioWare creation, Jade Empire has some staples of the company, such as a morality system, romantic subplots, and good combat. The problem with Jade Empire is that it's world and Story are arguably TOO good. What I mean is, BioWare made the same mistake DICE did with Mirror's Edge. You can't really make a game THIS big, THIS detailed and simply not keep it going. It's dissapointing for the fans, and it's annoying to think it'll never be made. #1: "Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" What can really be said about Ocarina that hasn't been already? It is frequently held as one of (if not THE) best games in history. The Zelda games had always done an amazing job of making it feel truly epic, but Ocarina made it to another level entirely. Considering it's age, Ocarina really is as good as it gets. From the first moments awakened by a fairy the world would soon love to hate, all the way to the ending battle with Beast Ganon, you realize you are playing something BIG. Something MASSIVE. As a person who admittedly is about as Jaded as you can get, hearing the world over say that this game, this "Experience" is simply THE best? You play it, and you really have to agree. It takes a special kind of dumbass not to like this game. Normally, I'd say a person doesn't need to like a game for it to be good. That it's their opinion not to like it, but I have never met a single person who honestly say down and played this game even once and did not love it inside and out. I have the luck to be able to say that this game was the first I ever played. Still critically acclaimed even after 20 years of it's release, if you haven't played this game yet, get off your lazy ass, over to a game store and BUY IT. No, not rent. You can take the word of the world's ranting about it for twenty-two years as proof enough of it's quality.

her- y cant we b friends!?!? me- ok you want to b friends? ok i dunk my balls in your mouth u gag i laugh we will b best friends forever!

hey i love texting, anybody want to text?

I feel like the only for sure way to ensure that I become rich and famous one day is to make a sex tape that is guarunteed to come back abd publicly haunt and humiliate me once I am...Everyone famous has a sex tape. I feel like it's some sort of cosmic rule that you can't be famous without one....Especially if u want to be famous but have absolutely no real talent...

He's here!!!! 20 inches, a little over 5 lbs!

This Morning i woke up with an XXL Condom on my head... what in the HELL was i doing last night?